


This Is Me, This Is You

by Chesra



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Act Six, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 11:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chesra/pseuds/Chesra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Jade Harley, and you are falling in love with Dave Strider, as you had always expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Me, This Is You

-

_So now we're just like everyone else  
You're a riddle to me, you're a stranger to me_

-

 

You are Jade Harley, and you are bored out of your mind. It's been nearly two years of staying on the ship and nothing of consequence has happened at all; at least to you. John occasionally has interesting dream bubble stories, but you've yet to experience a life-changing one.

Sometimes you wonder if you can't enter dream bubbles as often because you're the pilot. In the back of your head there's always some part of you working, constantly making sure the Prospitian ship is on the right track. It's not hard, but you can tell it takes a lot of energy from you without calling too much attention to it.

You don't fall asleep without warning anymore, though. In fact, sleep has become a rare thing, and sometimes you miss it. Perhaps it's the part of you that was once a sprite, or the part that was a First Guardian. Whatever it is, you spend most of your waking moments roaming the ship, tired of playing board games or talking to salamanders or chasing Jaspersprite.

Right now, life is monotonous and it is driving you _crazy._

At least at your island you had your plants and your adventures and Bec. Sure, there was no one exactly to talk to but then you had your laptop and you could chat with Rose and John and Dave. Here you only have John, and while he's one of the funniest people you know, you are both feeling the effects of being cooped up with the same person for nearly two years. No wonder the trolls went batshit insane.

Luckily you have no desire to go on a murderous rampage, least of all for your close friend and ectobiological brother, so you decide to go and check up on the ship's upper deck. If anything, you can stare at the night sky devoid of any stars. With a crackle and a pop, you find yourself exactly where you wanted to be.

"Sup."

-

You are Dave Strider. Or at least, you used to be. Now you're not so sure anymore. The first time, when you went to John and tried to warn him and he had doubted you, it had created the worst feeling in you. The insecurity and panic was ridiculous. You are a goddamn Strider, and you don't worry about that sort of shit. What does it matter if you have two wings protruding out of your back? You're Dave and you'll always will be.

Anyway, you are Dave Strider and Jade Harley has just magically appeared in front of you, and it will probably be rude not to say hello.

"Sup," you say.

"Dave!" she greets, and you swear your heart jumps just a bit. She looks surprised, but then she smiles and you wonder if there is even any point in trying not to smile back. You are going to lose coolkid points if she keeps staring at you like that.

"What are you up to now, Harley?" you ask, trying to be as casual as possible. Late night run ins with Jade never happen. You make sure of that.

"Nothing much," she answers, and sighs. "I can't fall asleep again."

"Sounds like the tragedy of the year," you say. "Jade Harley, teen insomniac. Never again to see the land of dreams and nightmares. Alert the authorities, we have a situation over here."

She giggles a bit. "Oh, shut up, Dave. What about you? Get much sleep yourself?"

You can't remember the last time you slept, actually. With all the time-hopping and being turned into a feathery asshole and fighting Jack Noir, you haven't gotten a moment's rest during the game. And even here, in the ship, it's almost as if you can't fall asleep; you go from room to room, poking around for something to do. You've hung out with Egbert a couple of times, watched some of his shitty movies with him. He always falls asleep afterwards and you have to tuck him in like some loving mother.

You're afraid to ask Nanna if being a sprite means never getting to sleep ever again.

So you shrug off Jade's question. "I'm a busy person. Fresh jams to make, sick fires to start. The ladies are all over this. Never have a moment to myself."

Jade laughs again, and the pit in your stomach turns.

You would be lying if you said you didn't go out of your way to avoid Jade. Sometimes she looks at you and it's not you she's looking at and it's like your wing is being ripped out all over again. The pain hurts like crazy and you are thankful for your shades, because at least she won't see how much she's hurting you.

She calls you Dave to your face but John told you once that she always calls you Davesprite in their conversations together.

"-and I don't get it," John had said. "You're just the same person, after all. She says there are minor differences, but pfft. Leave it to Jade to overthink it!" He had laughed and you had quietly nodded, but that conversation echoed constantly in your mind.

John had looked at you then. "You still like her, don't you?" he had said, with that knowing look on his face. Trust the guy not to forget something your thirteen-year-old self had confided in him in a moment of terrible insecurity. But that person seemed so different from who you are right now. There are two Daves in John's life and the only reason he's with you right now is because the other Dave is unavailable. Who is to say that Jade doesn't think the same way?

Sometimes you think of playing the game with only Rose, knowing John was dead and Jade was most likely dead too and you were stuck in a doomed timeline. The memory of it looms over you like a fucking meteor strike. You had fucked up, and you had to go back and make everything all right again, at the cost of becoming insignificant.

It is the worst hell you can imagine.

-

Somewhere in your conversation, Davesprite falls silent, his face thoughtful. There's always been something about him that you can't reach. Dave had flimsy walls, and you had torn them all down a long time ago, but Davesprite is different; his walls are made of doomed timelines and alternate memories and you have no idea how to get past that. In some weird way, you know you don't really _know_ him at all. He makes you laugh and he makes shitty rap music and occasionally he makes your heart thump too fast. But he's a stranger, and he's a different Dave Strider altogether.

What you always remember of Davesprite is the memory of when he looked at you, back when you were a sprite and meteors were falling all around you. He had looked at you and he had looked so lost, so helpless. And you knew you looked exactly the same way at him. The connection between you had been undeniable.

But moments later power had began surging through you, and suddenly, everything had been possible in your mind. You knew nearly everything, and you knew how to save the day - at least, in that moment.

But now you feel like you don't know anything again. You're standing beside him and you've never known him, not in the two years you've been in this ship. You've played shitty games with him and John, but you've never been alone with just him.

The realization jolts you, and you turn to look at him; really look at him.

Your gaze seems to jolt him too, because he's looking right back at you. Deep inside you there's an overwhelming need to touch him, and you raise your hand.

-

Jade Harley is reaching out for you, and the panic rising up your chest is screaming warning signals so loud, you wouldn't be surprised if you absconded into a sudden Spritely disappearance maneuver.

Instead you hold your ground because that is what coolkids do. That is what Dave would do, and that is what you should do.

"Don't," you say, and her hand stops midway. Her green eyes are so large, so confused. You want to scream but you're a Strider, and you don't lose your cool like that.

"Don't what, Dave?" she asks softly.

"Don't call me Dave," you say. She stiffens. "I'm not your Dave, after all."

"That's not-" she bites her lip, distressed.

You flap your wings in response, the closest to a coolkid shrug that you want to give. "It's fine. It's the reality, anyway. I'm not the Dave you kissed." _Or the one who helped you during the game, or the one who helped you fight Jack Noir. I'm not your Dave at all, and I never will be._

"He was dead! I did it to revive him!" she protests.

" I know," you say. "You would have done it for John or Rose too, I bet. Any of us would do anything to keep all of us alive."

Jade's eyes are full of tears. "I know you would." She's shaking. "I know you have."

You don't want to hurt her. You don't want to make her cry. But you can't not say this anymore, because it has been two years and you have never loved anyone but her, even though your Jade and your John and your Rose are all dead and gone. During the game you didn't ever try to chat her up; the idea of seeing that bright green text just choked you up. But you've been in the same place for so long and you have become friends and it's not stupid to hope for a chance.

"Jade." She looks at you again and your heart is doing gymnastics all over the ship deck. It is now or never. Time is not yours anymore and it is slowly trickling away. If you let the pause get any longer you are going to end up chickening out or going into some ridiculous spiel, a few hundred words that don't make sense at all. For once you only need a few of them, and you don't have to take forever to get to the point. "I like you."

Her face is priceless. The closest to it would be a little green **:o** ****, an emoticon you have been familiar with for years.

The silence goes on until she finally closes her mouth. She's thinking hard, and there is some part of you that wants to abscond at this moment. But you can't. You have to see this to the bitter end, as any Strider would.

Jade sighs, and your heart constricts. _What were you expecting, anyway?_ "Dave, I-" You can nearly taste the rejection in the air, and you have no intention of letting those words get out of her mouth.

"It's okay. I understand."

-

"I'm not the real Dave anymore, right?"

You are stricken to hear those words. You have heard them before but you weren't the real Jade either then, so it didn't slap you in the face like it did now.

He's wearing a cynical, bitter half-smile on his face, like he's been expecting you to break his heart all this time. All of the sudden you know exactly what Davesprite's walls are made of, and you know that if you make the wrong move now you will never be able to breach them ever again.

You say, "Stop." You are the Witch of Space and the distance between you and Davesprite is overwhelming; you need more than magic to bridge that gap.

So you reach out and pull him close, crushing the feathery orange boy in your arms, daring never to let go. It feels like an eternity before he puts his arms around you too.

He is warm, and real. He doesn't have legs but he has two large wings enveloping you, and you're not exactly normal anymore either, with your fluffy dog ears and the fact that you know just how many miles left before you reach your final destination. You have become a living countdown, a Prospitian pilot, and a dog.

You can do worse than kiss a boy with orange skin and feathers on his neck.

"You're real to me," you whisper, and you tiptoe to kiss him. You can taste the surprise in his lips, before he leans in and **whoa**. You are buzzing from excitement and panic and giddiness, and it's good that Davesprite is holding you because you are feeling just a bit faint.

You break the kiss and you look up at him, and he is smiling, a tiny upward tug on his lips. It makes you smile back, all teeth, and you swear your  eyes are dancing like crazy from sheer happiness. You want to know if his eyes are smiling too, but you hesitate at his shades.

"Nothing to be afraid of, Harley," he murmurs into your ear, and you laugh nervously. You bump your forehead against his, reveling in the warmth. You haven't had this much prolonged human contact since your grandfather had died. John hugs you, but he doesn't hold on like he's afraid you're going to disappear, and you don't want to seem clingy. You never knew how much you missed having someone to hold like this until now, with Davesprite all over you. His tail is even spun around your thighs to your knees. It is almost ridiculous. You are loving every moment of it.

You take a deep breath and touch his wings. They've healed, over time. You and John used to worry about it, but Davesprite always shrugged it off. "Sprite powers will take care of it," he had said, and it had. You touch the feathers. You touch his stomach, where the injury used to be. You reach out and touch his face, and he puts one hand over yours. His free hand slides away his shades, and you look into his eyes for the first time.

The sight is taking your breath away.

You are Jade Harley, and you are falling in love with Dave Strider, as you had always expected.

You just never knew it would be a different Dave Strider.

**Author's Note:**

> First Homestuck fic posted for the whole world to read. The horror. 
> 
> Title and lyrics are from Marit Larsen's song "This is Me, This is You." 
> 
> I would like to offer my eternal thanks to [zhyn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/zhyn) for 1) giving me an AO3 invite code and 2) beta-ing this fic for me. <3


End file.
